A quit cigarettes journey

She came to quit smoking but there was a deeper underlying issue that no one knew about including her husband of 20 years.

She was well a respected woman in the community, had two children, a supportive husband and a fantastic career.

She wanted to quit cigarettes for all the normal reasons, to be more productive and clear-headed, to be healthier, to be a positive role model for her children so that they don’t smoke (it was her worst nightmare – to see her children smoke) and to take the control back.

The problem for her was that she rolled her own cigarettes and smoked marijuana with her tobacco every afternoon after work.  (She used the tobacco to mask the smell of the marijuana) Well, it wasn’t a problem for her, she found it quite relaxing and it helped her cope with her stress.  She had done it for many years and didn’t really see a problem with it.  The actual problem was that her husband didn’t know about it and was dead-set against drugs.  This caused her a lot of stress as he was supporting her to quit cigarettes.  He saw the benefits of quitting and she agreed that there were benefits to giving up the smoking habit.

The other part was that she was keeping a secret from her husband and she was quite an honest person in all other areas of her life.  She definitely did not want to tell her husband about the marijuana, but wasn’t ready to give it up quite yet.

So clearly we had a problem on our hands.

1.     She wanted to quit cigarettes

2.     She used the tobacco with the marijuana to smoke it and mask the smell so her husband didn’t find out

3.     She was essentially lying to her husband by not telling him about the marijuana habit she had for many years

4.     The marijuana was used as a coping strategy for her stress

So I worked with her over four sessions and we addressed her reasons for continuing to smoke which was the marijuana habit.  As we spoke about the marijuana habit, she was able to see how it affected her in a negative way although I could hear her hesitations in giving this up.  Her pull to continue to smoke the marijuana was stronger than her reasons to quit.  Who was I to push her into a corner with this?  This was about her finding her own way with the habit and only she could come up with answers to her stress.

In the second session she was more mindful of her smoking habit.  She had time to process and thought it was possible that she could live without the marijuana, even to the point where she considered giving it a break.  She also recognised the impact of the feelings of mistrust that it caused within herself and her relationship with her husband. 

In the third session she had been drug free for 3 days.  She was aware that she had a shorted fuse and was a bit agitated.  She was now at a point where she had to deal with her stress in a different way and this can be quite difficult for some people.  We get so set in dealing with life in particular ways, that when we ask ourselves to do that differently, then it feels unfamiliar and sometimes uncomfortable to the point that we sometimes go back to that old habit because it is familiar (but not necessarily the best option).  It takes courage and commitment to a higher reason for giving up the habit (whatever that habit is) even when you might not see the results straight away.

In the fourth session we worked on the smoking habit and used hypnosis to change how she thought and viewed cigarettes.  She still wasn’t quite ready to quit both habits at this stage, but she had learnt a lot about herself through the process. 

Remember, it is not my place to judge someone for habits or things they do or think. It is my place to support them through that process so that they get their desired outcomes.  Habits and behaviours can be changed, some easier than others and it all comes down to the reason for quitting or changing.  The stronger that reason is, the easier it is to let go and move forward.